09 April, 2021
I never liked Spring cleaning. To me, it always represented a weekend of heavy chores and time away from relaxation and fun. But this year, cleaning feels necessary. As the pandemic forced many people indoors, we converted our living spaces to workspaces and stayed home more than ever before. Now, every surface is veneered with a thin layer of disinfectants, yet everything somehow still feels unclean. As the weather warms and we slowly return to our old patterns, it’s our old thoughts, assumptions, and beliefs that need to be scrubbed, shined, and swept out.
For most of the world, the spread of COVID-19 upended a lot of our beliefs about our inherent safety and protection, about our work patterns and ability to work remotely, and about what we could or would achieve with so much time spent inside our own homes. Those beliefs didn’t come from nowhere. We built them over time and we did that by climbing the Ladder of Inference.
The Ladder of Inference, developed by Harvard professor Chris Argyris, is a powerful visual metaphor for the way our mental processes lead us from thoughts to action.
- Underneath the ladder is a pool of observable “data”. Data refers to anything that we could observe or what might be recorded by a video camera.
- Our first step on the ladder is to select certain data, and in doing so, ignore other data.
- We then assign meaning to the data we selected, and form assumptions about what that data means.
- Then, we form conclusions, more concrete versions of our assumptions.
- Based on those conclusions, we form beliefs.
- Finally, we take action based on our beliefs.
This straightforward model may seem obvious, or even overly simplistic. Yet, the real power of the ladder of inference comes from understanding 1) what it means to move from one rung to another, and 2) how the ladder becomes a looping process rather than a strictly linear one. An example might help.
Let’s examine how Pam climbs the ladder of inference when her son Darryl comes home from school one day.
Observable data: Darryl swings open the front door, kicks off his shoes, and slams his backpack on the ground. Something falls out of the backpack. Darryl’s eyebrows raise. He quickly scoops up whatever fell out of it. He then moves to his bedroom and noisily shuffles around for a minute before coming back out without his backpack. He looks at Pam and says, “Hi mom. I’m home”
This whole scene likely plays out in only a minute or two, yet there is a lot happening here. This all represents the pool of observable data. If someone had been recording the scene, it would have picked up at least this much information.
Select data: Something fell out of Darryl’s backpack.
On any other day, Pam might have focused on the fact that her son didn’t say hello as soon as he walked in the door. But today, the thing that caught her attention is the thing that fell out of Darryl’s backpack. So, without even realizing it, she laser-focuses her attention to the backpack and subconsciously ignores other data.
Assign meaning: These things all are connected to whatever fell out of Darryl’s backpack: Darryl’s eyebrows raised. He went into his room for a minute. He made noise in his room. He came out without his backpack.
Within fractions of a second, Pam’s brain starts to make connections. Because she is immediately focused on whatever fell out of Darryl’s backpack, she subconsciously starts to give meaning to other things that she observed.
Assumption: Darryl didn’t want me to see whatever fell out of his backpack.
Now, Pam is starting to form a hypothesis about what’s really going on. She has made a mental leap from making observations to speculating about Darryl’s motivations.
Conclusion: Darryl is hiding something from me.
The transition from assumption to conclusion isn’t always an obvious one. Here, Pam goes from guessing about Darryl’s motivations to firmly deciding what Darryl’s actions mean.
Belief: Darryl is dishonest.
You can tell that Pam has climbed up another rung from conclusion to belief because she generalized her conclusion. Just one step ago Pam was making up her mind about Darryl’s motivations in this specific situation. But once she stepped up one more rung on the ladder, she started believing that Darryl is dishonest, not just in this situation, but all the time.
Did Darryl hide something in his room? Is there something he didn’t want his mother to see? We may never know, and it doesn’t matter because Pam has already made up her mind. According to Pam, her son Darryl is a liar, and that is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
Using the Ladder of Inference, we followed the scene with Pam and Darryl to demonstrate how quickly our beliefs form, and how wrong our own beliefs might be. Yet, we act on those wrong beliefs all the time. We can continue to use the Ladder of Inference to also show what happens once we act based on faulty beliefs.
Action: Pam takes Darryl into his room and demands that he show her what he is hiding.
Pam’s beliefs are concrete, so when she takes Darryl to his room, she is confident she’ll uncover whatever he hid.
The real risk of climbing the ladder comes from two “loops” where one rung of the ladder influences how we approach another rung the next time we start to climb it. The first loop occurs once we take action. Our actions have an impact and can directly influence the world around us. Therefore, our actions influence what data we have available to observe.
Loop 1: Darryl denies he hid anything. He gets angry about being accused. Over the next few weeks, he becomes more careful, and takes extra caution to hide anything his mother might be suspicious of, even though he was never doing anything wrong to begin with.
Pam’s actions directly influenced Darryl’s behavior, both in the moment, and in the long term. Darryl is worried that his mother will accuse him of something else, so he does start to become more secretive, which might only reinforce his mother’s belief.
The second loop occurs when we select and ignore data according to our own beliefs.
Loop 2: Pam begins to be on the lookout for anything suspicious in Darryl’s behavior.
Fueled by her own possibly faulty belief, Pam filters out anything that might disconfirm her belief and instead she selects only the data that will reinforce what she already thinks is true.
The Ladder of Inference is an elegant explanation for the very messy journey through poorly selected data, inaccurate assumptions, faulty beliefs, and ill-conceived actions. Pam and Darryl might continue this way – hiding and accusing in cycles, and reinforcing each other’s beliefs about the other. Or they might walk themselves back down the ladder. They might find new data that disproves their beliefs, or they might form different assumptions that produce different results.
So, as you embark on your own Spring cleaning this year, whether you are cleaning out the gutters or getting rid of outdated beliefs, be careful on the ladder.
Rick Buccheri, Director of Programs
31 March, 2021
From our Managing Director, Tara Taylor…
When I first learned to mediate, I felt like there were so many “not to dos”. Things I was not supposed to say or do, in an effort to maintain my neutrality, to avoid making judgements, and to allow self-determination for the parties. In the midst of all that, I was also trying to find my own personal style and approach that would best assist my clients. It was a bit overwhelming to say the least!
However, after a while, I found one “to do” that has stuck with me all these years. As a #mediator and #conflictmanagement professional I always try to hold the space for opportunity. Some call it being a cheerleader for the process. Others call it having a positive attitude. Whatever you call it, I’ve found that bringing a sense of optimism, into any #disputeresolution process, goes a long way at helping others work through their conflict. When parties are directly involved in a dispute it is difficult for them to imagine how things will ever get resolved. As mediators, we may not be able to offer suggestions or recommendations for the way others should resolve their conflicts, but we CAN help them believe that resolution is possible and that today can be better than yesterday.
Photo credit to my mom who gave me this little office sign for a gift this year! 😊
08 February, 2021
Leaders carry a lot of responsibility. They are at once the high performer, the innovator, the visionary, the collaborator, the coalition builder, and countless other roles that get heaped on the shoulders of organizational leaders. Leaders juggle their many roles while aiming to satisfy and put on a good face for the workforce, the customers and clients, the investors, the regulators, the vendors, the partners, the press, and the public. Even the best of leaders can get daunted when responsibility piles up, and over time, fear can creep in. Eventually, the massive mountain of responsibility sits atop a shaky foundation. Instead of being the confident and capable people at the helm, leaders may begin to feel insecure and can then make fear-based decisions designed for self-protection while they lose sight of the bigger picture.
Leader insecurity does not get enough attention and is often seen as antithetical to leadership. In fact, the feeling of insecurity is perhaps a predictable result of leadership. In a hierarchy, everything flows up to the leader. So, a single mistake can reflect poorly on the leader and translate to a sign of weakness, putting the leader’s reputation and the entire organizational system at risk. It makes sense that leaders might worry about the organization’s health and feel compelled to control every aspect of the organization that they can. But when leaders start to operate from a place of fear, they ultimately do more harm than good. What is worse is that others can usually see through the veneer and detect the insecurity that underlies a leader’s unconstructive behaviors. Alas, insecure leaders will often admit only strength and success while they under-communicate, avoid feedback, micromanage, defend their every decision, and fail to invest in long-term solutions.
Inclusive leaders, on the other hand, are not necessarily fearless, but they recognize that the success of the organization does not rest on their shoulders alone. They understand that they must rely on others and need others to be successful to have a truly effective organization. Rather than act out of fear, inclusive leaders empower others to take charge. They encourage experimentation, innovation, and risk-taking. To the inclusive leader, a new idea is one that has potential to lead to success, instead of being just one more thing that needs to get done.
Inclusive leaders develop others and provide people with the skills and resources they need to outshine the leader. They let go of decision-making authority and stand behind the decisions of others. They make space for other people to initiate and lead, while they focus on removing the barriers that may get in the way of others’ success. Inclusive leaders are also inclusive of themselves. In other words, they avoid hiding their insecurity and covering up their fear. Instead, inclusive leaders often practice transparency and express their concerns openly while engaging others to help construct solutions. Indeed, it is the act of admitting one’s own fears and limitations that creates the space for others to give input, lend support, and identify new paths to success.
Rick Buccheri
Director of Programs
11 January, 2021
The beginning of a new year is the perfect time to re-set an old pattern, practice or usual way of doing things that might be holding you back from your best work. In fact, studies show that just mentally allowing yourself to start something with a clean slate mindset can make it more likely that you will actually take concrete steps towards your goals.
So, as a kick-off to this new year, I’m sharing great tips from renowned executive coach, leadership innovator and best-selling author, David Rock, (and a few suggestions of my own) on ways you can adjust your daily habits to get the most out of your workday and re-set the way you look at your calendar this year.
Tip # 1 – Get your work done first! In today’s more virtual world, many of us are easily sidetracked by constant emails, Slack messages, unexpected remote chats and back-to-back video meetings. Dr. Rock advises finding a way to prioritize getting your own work done before getting involved in collaborative projects or team meetings where you’ll be working with others, and possibly be pulled away from your own priorities. “For many people that tends to be first thing in the morning, before your brain gets overwhelmed by all the meetings and emails.”
When possible, try to block off some time at the beginning of each day to tackle your important to-dos. For me, this means carving out 30-40 minutes when I first get up, and before I open any emails. I notice if I open new emails first thing in the morning, I can easily get caught up in responding to messages and other distractions before I’ve even crossed one thing off my to-do list. Staying away from email first thing in the morning makes me more effective for the day.
Tip # 2 – Find the Creative Spark. Many of us fall victim to the mindset that the harder we work, the more we will get accomplished, when in fact, the opposite is more often true. The brain does its best work when it is well-rested and refreshed. That means, we are more innovative and more effective if we approach important work when we are fresh off a rest rather than in the middle of a marathon workday.
Rock’s article suggests one technique is to avoid meetings on Mondays to give yourself the best chance to tackle important work tasks after a restful weekend. This may work for you, although I’ve also found that any morning of the week can be your best time to get work done if you protect that time. In other words, yes, studies show that your energy and creativity are often best in the morning after a good night’s rest but, you can decide what day works best for you. Fridays are often lighter days for client work for me, so I’ve found myself using Friday mornings to work on new training curriculum or completing a project task when I’m fresh for the day. I also block out this time on my calendar for a “meeting with myself” to reduce the chance that I will give that time away to a meeting or simply forget the importance of that creative time I need to do my best work. Whatever time you choose, schedule it and protect that time as you would a meeting with anyone else on your calendar.
Tip # 3 – Pace Yourself. This is my favorite tip! Our brains and our attention spans need regular rest. There is just no way to do your best work or be most productive when you are exhausted, zoned out and just plain overworked. Although we can’t always take a day off or escape to an island getaway to recharge, below are two simple ways to better pace yourself and your workday.
- Change your calendar’s default meeting setting down from one hour to 45 minutes or from 30 minutes to 15 minutes. It may seem silly, but you’d be surprised how much time you can save by putting small parameters on your meeting schedule.
One of the biggest problems I had when so many of us went to remote work environments in 2020, was virtual meetings that seemed to go on forever! So many times, these long meetings would bump into another meeting on my schedule, leaving little to no time for a restroom break much less a needed brain break in between tasks. Do yourself (and others!) a favor and plan for shorter meetings!
- Move More! Movement sends oxygen and blood – much needed resources for growth and development – to the muscles in our body and to the brain. Simply put, moving your body helps your brain to perform better. Try stretching at your desk, stand up and pace in place, or take a quick walk outside and remind yourself that movement is part of being a more effective worker!
After a difficult and stressful 2020, I wish you all the patience and energy to try re-setting one of your past patterns or practices that have led you astray from your best work. May 2021 bring us all a brighter future!
Tara B. Taylor, MPA
Managing Director
06 January, 2021
When I was growing up, I never liked it when my grandmother forced me to apologize for something, I’d done to aggravate my younger sister. In fact, most of the time, I just grumbled a quick “I’m sorry” just so my grandmother would leave me alone and let me get out of the room.
Apologizing for something you’ve done is never fun, but if you don’t find a way to do it authentically, it can be the beginning of the end of your relationship with another person.
Below are some quick tips for making your apology count:
- Take responsibility. Instead of emphasizing that you “didn’t mean” or “never intended” to do something, name and acknowledge the impact rather than the intention.
- “An apology is something we do, not something we say.” An apology only matters if we do better in the future. So, consider including something in your apology about how you will act or do things differently moving forward.
- Think back to the apologies you’ve experienced in your own life – “How did they feel? What resonated with you? What left you feeling unfulfilled?”
- And importantly, remember that no one owes you their forgiveness, no matter how deeply you may want it. Do your best to take responsibility, do some critical self-reflection and move forward with an action plan for how to act differently in the future.
Read more in this insightful article by Nicole Cardoza in the Anti-Racism Daily newsletter.
Tara B. Taylor, MPA
Managing Director
29 December, 2020
Did you know that over 90% of ADR Vantage’s client projects were conducted virtually this year? Our team has been conducting online mediations, facilitation, and training for years, and our full-time staff has been operating as a remote team since 2019, but this year was quite different. 2020 marks a major change in how we work and how our clients work.
This year’s pandemic thrust many of our client organizations into the virtual space without much warning, but we were well-equipped to help them pivot quickly. We applied proven strategies with a healthy dose of experimentation, and we were able to assist many of our clients to navigate technical hurdles, to gain comfort with virtual collaboration, and to find creative ways to stay engaged with each other. We continue to be impressed with how effectively our clients (and you!) have risen to this year’s challenges and discovered new ways of working.
ADR Vantage is continuing to adapt and evolve. Here are just a few of the exciting developments we have cooking.
Special ADR Research Project Collaboration
ADR Vantage is partnering on a unique research project to explore the relationship between diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) and alternative dispute resolution (ADR) from the practitioner’s perspective. Little research has been conducted on the nexus between DEI and ADR and we are excited to engage in this important area of study. We want to learn more about what practitioners experience in their work, and where there are connections and gaps between ADR theory and practice. The research project is being led by one of our own practitioners, Dr. Yunzi (Rae) Tan, Associate Professor and Program Director at University of Baltimore’s School of Public and International Affairs. The results of this research will be considered for inclusion in the 2021 special issue of the academic journal Negotiation and Conflict Management Research that will explore “Lessons from Practice: Extensions of Current Negotiation Theory and Research.”
2020 Facts
200+ = The most people that participated in a facilitated virtual event.
6,776 = The number of miles between a mediator (Washington, D.C.) and the mediation parties (Japan). We also supported Federal Employees stationed in Germany this year.
166 = The number of ADR Vantage practitioners around the country.
0 = The number of projects cancelled due to COVID-19. Instead, many projects were reimagined & conducted virtually.
14.3% = The percentage of growth in our case load.
Bringing More Diversity, Equity, Inclusion to ADR Vantage
One of the many reasons we were excited to welcome our new Managing Director, Tara Taylor, MPA at the close of last year was to deepen our commitment and our work in the diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) arena.
And this year, perhaps more than ever before, has shown us that organizations and leaders are looking for support in their DEI journey as well. Tara has taken her 20+ years of work in the civil rights and conflict resolution fields and has been busy at work enhancing ADR Vantage’s DEI practice. Just this year alone we have facilitated DEI-focused employee discussions and focus groups; conducted DEI strategic planning sessions and a large-scale organizational DEI assessment; offered conflict resolution services to workplaces dealing with a rise in tensions around racial and social justice issues; and provided DEI-centered training including several signature workshops offered by Tara on LGBTQ+ Inclusion Best Practices for Workplaces. We are also adding to our cadre of DEI-expert practitioners within our roster, and we are forming partnerships and connections with other DEI-focused organizations. So, keep an eye out for more growth in this area at ADR Vantage in 2021!
Thanks for the feedback!
At ADR Vantage, we take pride in doing great work. This year, we are certainly proud of our amazing practitioners who continued to outperform and who made a real difference for our clients. Here are a just a few of the wonderful things our clients said this year about our trainers, mediators, facilitators, coaches, and consultants.
“We truly believe that working with you has been a tremendous benefit to our division.”
~ Federal Division Director
“I was so impressed! Of course, I already knew how talented you are, but you certainly took my opinion up a few more notches. Your skills to keep the group engaged virtually…made the training seamless.”
~ Federal Program Director
“That trainer was really excellent. Really smooth delivery, really engaging.”
~ Training participant
“The mediator made this intimidating process flow smoothly. Much appreciated!”
~ Mediation participant
“The mediator did an excellent job of guiding the discussions and focusing
on the real issues for resolution.”
~ Human Resources Manager
“Thank you so much for the work that you did with our team. If anything is a reflection of our progress, I have had better conversations during the recent performance appraisal meetings than I’ve had in four years.”
~ Federal Division Director
New Website Coming in 2021!
We are currently working on giving our website a makeover. Our new look will debut in early 2021! For now, be sure to follow us on social media to stay updated about all the great things taking shape and check out the latest articles on our blog.
From our remote offices to yours…
May the hardships of 2020 bring us all thankfulness for what we have,
trust that better is yet to come, and patience to support one another into the coming year.
Wishing you and yours all the best in 2021!
04 December, 2020
The FBI recently released its annual hate crimes report, showing that “bias-motivated crimes based on race, religion, disability and gender remain at troublingly high levels.” The Human Rights Campaign signaled increased attention to the report of hate crime numbers based on sexual orientation that represent almost 17% of all hate crimes, behind race and religious motivated crimes.
These numbers are disturbing but not new. In fact, the rate of overall hate crimes across the country has slowly risen every year since 2014. Racially-motivated crime remains the most common type of reported hate crime, “with nearly half of race-based hate crimes targeting Black people” and hate crimes against the Latinx community have also risen for the fourth year in a row. Hate crimes involving religion-based bias increased as well, particularly those targeting Jewish people and Jewish institutions and Muslims.
What’s even more alarming is that hate crime reporting is not mandatory and is not consistent across all law enforcement jurisdictions, leading to a likelihood that these statistics don’t represent a full picture of the total number of acts of violence and bias that occur every year in the U.S.
These alarming statistics are impacting and unsettling the workplace, in subtle and not so subtle ways. The impacts are also being felt just when workplaces are struggling to support their employees while they confront the turmoil of the pandemic and multiple incidents of recurring racial and social injustice. While more and more workplaces are recognizing and embracing differences that build connection and inspire inclusion, statistics like the ones in the FBI report are still disheartening. Here are a few tips for helping you and your workplace stay the course as you navigate these challenging times.
TIP #1: Prioritize self-care. Yes, we’ve all seen the articles about the importance of de-stressing and staying resilient in the face challenging times. Yet, so many of us silently ignore those suggestions and go along with our busy schedules telling ourselves that we’re tough, and that self-care is for someone else or that taking a break means we aren’t doing enough. If that sounds like you or someone you work with, consider the wise words from civil rights activist, Audre Lorde, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation.”
TRY: Adopting at least one new self-care regimen for yourself.
TRY: Consulting with your organization’s internal human resources and/or wellness program representative to find out what support and self-care resources may be available to you and your staff.
TRY: Bringing a 5-minute collective mindfulness practice to your team meetings.
TIP #2: Continue to check in with your team. Many Black and Brown employees, in particular, are struggling with the emotional impacts of the continued violence directed at those communities, even as we head into month ten of the COVID pandemic and a new surge in cases. Everyone handles those burdens differently. Recognize that you may not see what is going on or hear about it directly from every employee but the continued stress may, and likely is, having an effect.
TRY: Checking-in with employees and colleagues on a regular basis but, don’t expect or push dialogue.
TRY: Giving people the benefit of the doubt. While employees need to be accountable for their work, consider whether and how recent challenges may be affecting how they show up in the workplace and whether you can accommodate adjustments to schedules and deliverables.
TIP #3: Keep up the momentum. While many organizations already had diversity, equity and inclusion (DEI) efforts in place before this year, 2020 has certainly brought increased awareness and attention to these topics. Even though the ongoing pandemic has caused many organizations to shift priorities, it is more important than ever to clarify and stay focused on your DEI goals. In fact, your employees, clients and customers are expecting it.
TRY: Providing options for your teams to engage with each other around topics of racial and social justice through facilitated sessions. These sessions provide space where people can share their feelings about what is happening outside the workplace and break through to deeper appreciations of each other’s experiences in and out of the workplace.
TRY: Inviting your employees to offer their insights and specific suggestions to improve your organization’s internal and external DEI efforts.
TRY: Hiring a professional DEI consultant who can provide expert advice and recommendations to take your efforts to the next level.
Tara B Taylor, MPA
Managing Director
28 October, 2020
As more and more organizations look to enhance their current Diversity, Equity and Inclusion (DEI) efforts, the concept of “psychological safety” is a renewed area of focus. Widely considered to be the “Father of Employee Engagement”, Professor and researcher Daniel Kahn discussed the concept of psychological safety in the workplace back in the early 1990’s as “the ability to show and employ one’s self without fear of negative consequences of self-image, status or career.”
In the DEI space this concept speaks to the ability of employees to feel they can bring all aspects of their identity into the workplace to engage, participate, challenge and interact in ways that allow them to be who they are without the fear of reprisal from others. In fact, the most effective teams often have the highest levels of psychological safety for their members. Feeling safe to voice your own unique opinions and views builds trust among colleagues, enhances communication and improves the team’s overall productivity. There are many ways to foster greater psychological safety and most don’t cost anything and are easy to implement right now. Here are a few quick ideas to keep in mind:
- Make it the norm to have robust discussion and debate. If everyone knows it’s okay, and even expected, to have differing opinions, it makes it much easier for different perspectives to be included.
- Get curious! Spend time asking good questions to understand different perspectives. Remind yourself that there may be more that you don’t yet know about. And… be careful your questions are rooted in gaining greater understanding rather than winning an argument!
- Reach out to those who aren’t part of the discussion. Who aren’t you hearing from? Who else’s perspective might contribute to the discussion? In other words, seek out the voices that are missing and make sure you are including them in your discussions and decision-making.
- Be thankful! Show gratitude for dissenting views or differences of opinion. Saying something like, “thank you for taking the time to talk this through with me” or “thank you for sharing your perspective and giving me more to think on” can go a long way to building a respectful workplace where everyone’s input is valued and respected.
Tara B Taylor, MPA
Managing Director
27 October, 2020
70% of workers claim that right now is the most stressful time of their entire professional careers. A global pandemic, working from home, virtual classrooms, and an uncertain economy are all contributing factors to these high levels of stress. Higher stress levels combined with social distancing and remote communications can also lead to a greater likelihood of conflict in the workplace. In fact, when your workplace is less office and more computer screen, it can cause employees to either avoid conflict all together or escalate minor disputes into even bigger conflicts. In the long run, both conflict avoidance and conflict escalation are bad for the health of individual workers and the overall health of any organization.
When it comes to managing workplace conflict right now, here are 3 tips that can help:
- Encourage a culture of feedback. Make positive and constructive feedback the norm in your organization. Encourage employees and managers to offer kudos to one another in meetings, online and in front of others. Everyone likes to be valued and appreciated, so speak up when you notice someone doing something well.
At the same time, it is also important to encourage constructive feedback not constructive criticism.
Criticism is focused on someone else’s faults or problems and is typically concentrated on past behavior. Feedback still involves evaluating performance or behavior but, it also includes helpful information or data to assist with improvements for the future. Constructive feedback is about supporting personal and professional growth and not about personal attacks or verbal assaults. If employees feel their style or work performance is being criticized, they often shut down or become defensive. The last thing they want to do is listen to suggestions from someone else on how they should change. So, the trick is to focus your feedback less on a negative view of the past and more on the positive ways to improve or adjust for the future.
- Allow space and grace. Stress, fatigue and uncertainty can all lead to less than perfect communication and a strain on workplace relationships. When we are working from home and on our own, we miss out on our usual water cooler conversations with co-workers, shared coffee breaks, and the other typical ways we would connect and bond with colleagues when we are in-person. This lack of connection also leads to less outward focus and a more inward, and often narrowed, view of the world.
We can start to let the little things get to us, assume bad intent when none is there, or just forget that everyone is struggling right now and we could all use a little of what I call “space and grace.” Space and grace is all about the extra time, energy and patience it may take to allow others around you to make mistakes or take a little more time to reply to your emails or just to work at pace that may be different than your expectation. That doesn’t mean that work won’t get done but, it does mean understanding that life is very, very different for everyone right now and we all need to remember to support one another as much as possible.
- Listen More. Ever heard that old saying “we have 2 ears and one mouth so we should use them in that ratio?” In other words, it can be valuable practice to listen more and talk less. The idea is that effective listening can go a long way in helping others feel supported and to feel heard. When employees feel supported and heard research tells us that employee engagement and retention increase. So, doing something as simple as making time to really listen to others – without offering our input, suggestions or comments – often promotes understanding and decreases the chances of misunderstandings, miscommunication and other mishaps turning into major workplace conflicts.
One way to listen more is to try using the 70/30 rule. The 70/30 rule has been applied to business tactics (effective salespeople let the client talk 70% of the time while they only speak 30% of the time), to wellness goals (70 % of the time is spent on healthy eating and exercise with 30% of the time for more flexibility) and even to finance (to build personal wealth use 70% of your income for expenses and 30% for savings). The 70/30 rule also applies to listening and can be used for any conversation where you want to build rapport and achieve more effective results. Try it in your next one-on-one discussion with an employee or in your next team meeting. When others are given the space to share, and someone is there to listen to them less than talk at them, you’d be surprised at the results.
Tara B Taylor, MPA
Managing Director
27 October, 2020
My 7-year daughter has a good friend who lives right up the street. Since this friend lives so close, my daughter and I will often walk her home when they are done playing together at our house. We usually take the same short route to her house but, last night when we were walking her home, it had just rained and we decided to take a short detour to avoid some big puddles along the way. To our surprise this new route led us to the perfect spot to see our first fireflies of the season lighting up the evening sky. The girls were delighted and took turns yelling and pointing out each new flicker of light to each other. It was a great reminder to me that taking the path less traveled can bring new adventures and unexpected joy.
As restaurants and stores start to reopen and many employees begin to return to offices it can be tempting, and even comforting, to try to return to “normal”. But maybe normal wasn’t working for you. Maybe normal wasn’t inspiring you. Maybe normal isn’t the place you want to return to at all. If doing the same thing, following the same pathways, and thinking in the same old ways wasn’t getting you what you need to feel exited and inspired by the work you do, now is the perfect time to try something new.
In fact, research show that taking detours can lead to innovation, ingenuity and finding unconventional solutions to our biggest challenges. I’m not saying we all have the luxury to quit our job and jet out into the unknown to find greater meaning in our lives (although by all means, go for it if you want to make that happen!). However, I am suggesting that sometimes we need to re-examine what we want for ourselves to find the work that brings us true joy and fulfillment. And maybe, just maybe, we should take a path less traveled once in a while to find something new and beautiful that we didn’t know was out there!
Tara B. Taylor, MPA
Managing Director
