22 December, 2017
In our professional field, we engage in a practice of reflection to support continual learning and development. Reflection is also a valuable way to learn from mistakes, gain perspective, generate ideas and acknowledge and celebrate achievements. As we close the year, our team has come together to share their reflections and hopes for the new year…
2017 – what a year!?! With so many ways to reflect, I want to acknowledge the women and men of the federal government we’ve had the honor to work with throughout the year. My generation was witness to our rivers and streams and air getting cleaner; civil rights expanding to embrace our national diversity; our enhanced commitment to the wellbeing of peoples of the world; our security and banking systems strengthened; our honor of the arts and so much more — all results of those dedicated federal employees. It’s been a hard year for many of them and so I reflect, with gratitude, on the pleasure of spending some of our year engaged with them to make their workplaces better. -Dianne
Change is hard – it can be disorienting, stressful and just plain exhausting even for those who fully embrace the change – and 2017 has been full of change! We are creatures of habit so when our usual patterns are disrupted, we are compelled to expend extraordinary amounts of energy to make sense of our surroundings again. Effective communication, kindness and hope are common casualties in this state of fatigue. We must remember though that we also have within us the capacity for resilience – to recover, bounce back and regain our footing perhaps in a new way that we could not have expected or predicted without the disruptiveness of change. My hope for the new year is to intentionally create space to remain curious even when I disagree, to find areas of agreement we can build on and to appreciate the unexpected gifts that come with change like new connections, renewed commitments and fresh ideas. -Shayne
Although it is easy to look back at 2017 and recall the challenging and tumultuous events that defined the year, it is certainly not comfortable or convenient to do so. 2017 was a hard year for many, and I cannot let this year pass without acknowledging the pain and exhaustion that 2017 will leave behind. I am also reminded, by countless courageous deeds, that 2017 is also the year that inspired people into action. Victims spoke up and found justice. Voters have turned out in record numbers. Citizens rose up into public service positions and political activism. Communities united to aide each other through destructive events. I feel like this was a year when people woke up. We all somehow realized that if we want change in this world, there is no one better equipped to inspire it than ourselves. As I take stock of what has been gained and lost this year, the sum of everything leaves me with humility and hope. I look forward to seeing what we will accomplish together in 2018. -Rick
The arrival of a new year provides a great opportunity to look back at the previous year’s accomplishments, challenges, and to anticipate and work toward a promising and inspirational 2018. I have a lot to be cheerful about this season as I’ve had opportunities to work with an exceptional group of people who truly believe and anchor their work in “Helping People Work Better Together.” With all the end-of-year goals and holiday preparation, it’s easy to forget to pause and reflect. A study by the Harvard Business Review found “reflecting on what you’ve done teaches you to do it better next time. And that reflection boosts performance.” My hope as we enter the new year is that we all take a second to reflect and concentrate more on the positive changes we can make both professionally and personally. -Heywette
20 November, 2017
Last month my colleague posted a blog and hosted a webinar exploring the question of whether the language we use to talk about conflict limits the outcomes in conflict resolution and whether the term Conflict Engagement might open more possibilities. This subject, combined with some very unsatisfactory recent mediations, has sent me into a deeper exploration of Conflict Engagement and back to a 2001 book by Bernie Mayer, PhD. Beyond Neutrality: Confronting the Crisis in Conflict Resolution.
In his book, Dr. Mayer introduces a tension between avoidance and engagement in the use of mediation across all of its applications. He shapes the avoidance premise around forces that naturally discourage people from willingly investing in a mediated solution. Among them are that people actually want or feel the need for the power and authority that comes from an advocate rather than a neutral and they need a process and a negotiating partner that allows them to address the root causes of the conflict rather than just patching it up.
To move from avoidance to engagement there needs to be conditions and processes that will put the parties in the best position to participate openly and creatively. Ideal conditions start when there is just enough importance and risk to motivate parties to willingly engage in mediation but not so much as to drive them to legal or administrative alternatives; when the parties feel comfortable they can speak for themselves rather than through representatives; and when they believe the parties at the table are willing to honestly explore “what” needs to be fixed in addition to the “how” of the resolution.
In most workplace mediation programs, whether out of the best of intentions or institutional requirements, the decision to mediate rests with the employee. Regardless of how well suited the conditions are and how prepared the parties are, when an employee opts for mediation, the organization offers it. Further, when the conflict arises from a claim of discrimination, harassment or reprisal, the risk to the parties jumps way up and the dynamic becomes less flexible, making it much less likely that there can be a meaningful discussion of systemic issues. Most often, organizations have little interest in considering any systemic changes without sufficient risk or legal mandate.
Employees cede all the power of their claim when they accept the terms offered by management and sign a settlement agreement. For management, to reach a settlement they must offer something of value, sometimes feeling as though they are establishing a precedent just in the interest of settling. Parties on both sides often feel the risks are too high and the rewards too much in doubt.
This all being the case, here are some thoughts about engendering greater engagement in workplace conflict.
For mediation programs still in development, introduce and facilitate open exploration of options for:
• The program to encourage more “what” dialogues to balance the “how;”
• Establishing conditions of safety and commitments from the parties to address the risks; and
• Exploring conflict engagement options such as conflict coaching for when conditions for two-party dialogues or mediations would not be optimal.
For mediating within established and relatively inflexible mediation programs:
• Be deliberate in assessing the risk/reward levels of the parties to gauge the parties’ motivation for a mediated solution and how much farther they may be encouraged to work toward it; and
• To the extent possible, honor the root cause concerns as among the issues for resolution and allow them to play out more.
In all cases, as conflict engagement specialists, we need to recognize and honor the parties and their needs. When they are locked in emotion or resistance, when the employee has lost confidence in the organization and the organization is unable or unwilling to make changes to address root causes, then we may only be able to help the parties articulate and possibly agree to work toward, the conditions needed to move forward. While not a settlement, this is engaging in the conflict.
Dianne C. Lipsey
President
10 November, 2017
ADR Vantage, Inc. has an immediate opening for a Program Manager in its Washington, DC office to support its efforts to provide high-quality and effective collaborative solutions in the workplace. The Program Manager, working under the supervision of the Director of Programs, will balance time between direct client work, case management and coordinating the successful delivery of client services. The Program Manager will also coordinate with the Director of Operations to ensure compliance with contract requirements.
ADR Vantage is a leading provider of conflict management, organizational effectiveness, and employee engagement services with a 24-year history of work with the federal and private sectors. We are committed to our mission of helping people work better together, and our new team member must share the same passion for our mission, be process-oriented, flexible, proactive, and a self-starter as well as possess exemplary relationship-building, communication (written and verbal), and project management skills.
Essential Job Functions:
• Providing direct client service that may include facilitation, mediation, training, curriculum design and other program support.
• Managing projects including planning, coordinating tasks, tracking deliverables, monitoring for quality assurance, and preparing status and outcome reports.
• Providing mediation case management including intake and assignment to practitioner(s) on the applicable roster.
• Supporting the maintenance and further development of our nationwide roster of practitioners according to ADR Vantage priorities and project fulfillment demands.
• Creating content for business proposals, website, and social media.
• Contributing to the development of new service offerings, trainings/workshops and other company initiatives.
Required Skills/Qualifications:
• A degree in conflict management or related field (advanced degree preferred);
• 40 hours of Mediation Skills training from a suitably accredited program, such as those approved for certifying mediators, mentoring mediators and providing continuing education credits;
• At least 5 years of experience in conflict management or related field and strong group facilitation skills (practitioners certified in areas such as mediation, facilitation, coaching, etc.
and with federal sector experience are preferred);
• Significant experience working directly with clients and providing project, program or case management;
• Demonstrable good judgment, integrity and respect in decision-making and communication;
• Exceptional writing, research and communication skills (experience in writing proposals, whitepapers and/or for social media is preferred);
• Highly adaptable and self-motivated with equally strong abilities to work independently and collaboratively in a team; and
• Commitment to continual learning, development and growth.
To apply:
Send a statement demonstrating why you’re a good fit for this position, a current resume, a writing sample (5 pages max), and three references. Email applications to workbetter@adrvantage.com with the header “Program Manager” by November 30, 2017. Incomplete applications will not be considered. No phone calls please.
11 October, 2017
Why is it so challenging for us to develop productive and meaningful approaches to conflict when conflict, in varying degrees, is something we live with daily? Conflict is a normal and inevitable aspect of our lives that can be a stimulus for positive change, and yet, the language we use in describing conflict increases the likelihood that we will adopt strategies that will, prolong, ignore, or even have the effect of escalating the conflict. If we change our language, we discover a radical new way of thinking about and addressing conflict.
Three words that are commonly associated with the word conflict are prevention, resolution, and management. When we talk about conflict as something to be prevented, resolved, or managed, the image we create is something to be impeded, avoided, suppressed, and confined. From this view of conflict, we might internalize narratives such as, “If you don’t have conflict now, then you need to make sure you don’t have it ever,” or, “If are you in conflict now, then you need to fix it, or confine it to minimize its impact.” The language we associate with conflict has two effects.
First, the language as described above reinforces prevailing negative associations and attitudes that conflict is something painful and undesirable. While this might reflect what we experience when we are in conflict, it ignores a fundamental truth about conflict. Conflict is a natural part of human interaction. It is likely that we all have experienced conflict with a romantic partner, a family member (parent, child, sibling), a coworker (colleague, boss, subordinate), a neighbor, and a friend. We experience conflict in every arena of our lives, and if we have interacted with other human beings, then we likely have experienced conflict. If we view conflict as only negative, then we treat it as something undesirable and avoidable, and we deny its inevitability. Whereas if we acknowledge conflict as normal and inevitable, then we can learn to integrate it into our daily lives and leverage it for positive change.
Second, our language encourages us to develop unhelpful approaches to conflict. When we treat conflict as only negative and as something to be avoided, we subsequently develop strategies to ignore and deny the existence of conflict, rather than dive in and confront what needs addressing. If we think of conflict as something to be fixed, then we might rush to a resolution without giving full attention to the various dynamics fueling the conflict. If we treat conflict as something to be suppressed, we might encourage conversations to include as few people as possible, ignoring others who are directly or indirectly affected by the conflict. To change our attitudes and approaches to conflict, we first must change our language.
Conflict Engagement
If the language of conflict prevention, conflict resolution, and conflict management encourages unproductive attitudes and approaches to conflict, then conflict engagement may offer a different, and immensely more useful, way of thinking about and approaching conflict. So, what does it mean to be engaged? Current academic research points to a three-pronged definition of engagement. To be engaged in something means to be involved, energized, and enthusiastic. To be involved means to actively seek opportunities to perform the task, and to do the task whenever it requires being done. To be energized means to be motivated or incentivized to perform the task. To be enthusiastic means to be excited by the task, to look forward to it, and be passionate about it. If we apply these concepts to conflict, we are presented with a radically different conflict philosophy.
To be involved in conflict would mean to seek opportunities to enter challenging or difficult conversations rather than avoid them. It would mean acknowledging when conflict exists, and looking for ways to unpack the conflict in collaboration with others who contribute to or are affected by the conflict.
To be energized by conflict would mean to be motivated by the positive benefits of addressing conflict head on. Conflict often becomes destructive when it is ignored or when we apply hurtful or damaging conflict strategies. However, when we take part in meaningful dialogue, and seek to understand others involved, working through conflict can produce clearer shared understanding, deepened relationships, and innovative solutions. If we focus on these positive aspects of being in conflict – without ignoring the difficult and uncomfortable aspects of being in conflict – we are more encouraged to step into hard conversations and work toward shared goals.
To be enthusiastic about conflict would mean to feel enough of a sense of competence and confidence in our ability to productively work through conflict that we are willing to initiate what might be a conflict conversation. Unfortunately, although we have lived our entire lives in conflict, most of us have an underdeveloped conflict skill set. Cultivating enthusiasm for conflict engagement would encourage us to strengthen the skills and strategies we bring into conflict conversations.
Refreshing our language from conflict prevention, resolution and management to conflict engagement gives us a new template for our attitudes and approaches to conflict, and provides a shift that will help us acknowledge conflict that already exists, step into conflict more willingly, and develop a more effective set of skills to help us navigate conflict. This month, as we celebrate conflict resolution month, let us also focus on new directions for our field of practice.
Rick Buccheri
Director of Programs
23 August, 2017
Having been a mediator for nearly eleven years, I can’t say that I have seen it all, but I’ve certainly found myself amid plenty of intense conflicts. I’ve sat calmly at a table while people a foot away from me stood screaming into each other’s faces, or pounded on the table hard enough to lift it off the ground. I’ve witnessed people sit silently and then suddenly explode into wild expressions of emotion. Over the years I have observed and learned. I can mostly predict with accuracy when someone is about to escalate, and can point to what triggered the escalation. More importantly, and eminently more useful, I have also learned how to deescalate people. The questions of what makes someone escalate and makes them deescalate can both be answered with another question, “Does that person feel heard?”
My mantra is that people will escalate if they do not feel heard, and will deescalate if they do feel heard. If someone is getting louder, repeating themselves, or using increasingly destructive methods to get their point across, it’s because they don’t feel heard.
Mostly, when we listen, we listen ineffectively. We try to make certain that we understood what has been said, and that we have the facts straight, but the most well-trained listeners fall victim to confirmation bias, where we listen for information that confirms that narrative we have already created in our own minds. We frequently listen ineffectively because we filter out information that doesn’t fit our narrative, and we either narrowly focus on or even add information that confirms what we already believe. Truly effective listening happens in three stages:
1. Loosen your grip on your own story – You must be willing to acknowledge that your own version of what happened, is happening, and will happen might not be the true story, the only story, or the whole story. Stay open to new or missing information, and information that counters what you already believe.
2. Accept the other person’s story as equally true as yours – Rather than trying to assert your version of the facts, or disprove the other person’s story, accept their story as the truth. If someone says, “you disrespected me,” and you believe you did not disrespect them, and it was certainly never your intent to do so, rather than disprove them or argue back, allow their reality to coexist with yours. Allow the possibility that you did disrespect them and then dig deeper into their story. What did you do that they perceived as disrespectful? What impact did their feeling disrespected have? What could have been done differently that would have made them feel more respected?
3. Listen so that the other person feels heard – Pull out key information from what the other person has said, and repeat it back either verbatim or in your own words. Ask yourself, “what do they want me to hear and understand?”
Effective listening is a power tool in deescalating strong emotions, and fostering shared understanding. The next time you find yourself in conflict, follow the three-step process to hone your effective listening and de-escalation skills.
Rick Buccheri
Director of Programs
17 August, 2017
Listening or active silence is like a “wonder drug” for communication. Staying silent but attentive to conversations, staying curious and asking questions to draw out others and clarify meaning, and sharing our own views as a reflection of what has been said, opens new possibilities. It helps people feel their contributions matter, conveys respect and respect builds trust and trust is the currency of our relationships.
It can be very hard to keep our thoughts to ourselves in a high-pressure exchange of ideas. Often there is reward in being the first to say something important or to be the one credited with the best idea. AND it can just be hard to do: Many of us like to jump in the fray; some of us may be impatient as the conversation veers too much from the points we think are important; and lots of us don’t like the awkwardness of silence. Here’s some food for thought as your organization sets goals and implements strategy to Work Better Together:
A typical study points out that many of us spend 70 to 80 percent of our waking hours in some form of communication. Of that time, we spend about 9 percent writing, 16 percent reading, 30 percent speaking, and 45 percent listening. Studies also confirm that most of us are poor and inefficient listeners. Listening is a skill that if practiced and honed will lead to better relationships.
01 August, 2017
In this quiet month of August, it’s a good time to reconsider the art and practice of listening. Let’s kick it off with a proposal to update the phrase “Active Listening” to “Deep Listening” or listening to understand. This differs from the transactional way we too often listen when, rather than hearing what a person actually means to say, we add our own meaning to what we think they mean to say.
Remember the exercise often used in communication skills training when one person speaks for 2 minutes and the other listens without speaking. They’re then asked to report on their experience as the person listened to or the person listening. The first time I did this exercise, I was amazed at the direction the speaker took. I was sure I would have altered that direction had I commented or asked questions. I learned something I would not have learned had I interjected during that few minutes and they reported feeling listened to.
As a coach, we learn to both stay curious about what we’re hearing but not formulate questions or direction as our client is speaking. What’s cool about this is that we not only learn from the person speaking but they are learning too and revealing directions we can then help them see and follow.
“Active Listening” is so important that this is the reason I propose a rephrase. The phrase has become so overused that often people who must communicate well for their jobs know what they are supposed to do and many believe they already do it. If we talk about listening differently, it can help people reconsider what it means to listen to understand and help those who need to be understood feel listened to.
26 June, 2017
ADR Vantage, Inc. has an immediate opening for a Business Development Manager in Washington, DC with a background in professional services, preferably Organizational Development, Conflict Resolution, Training, Coaching or related. We are committed to our mission of helping people work better together, and our new team member must share the same passion for our mission, be proactive, entrepreneurial and a self-starter motivated to make sales as well as possess exemplary relationship-building, communication (written and verbal), networking, negotiation and project management skills.
Position Overview: The Business Development Manager position is a “hands-on” role – responsible for helping us expand our clientele and revenue sources through identifying, developing, and implementing an effective sales and marketing strategy. The primary goal of this position is to drive sustainable financial growth through maintaining a robust sales pipeline and maximizing available resources and tools.
Essential Job Functions:
• Develop a growth strategy and set goals based on our core competencies and desired prospects that focus on financial gain, diversification of client base and customer satisfaction.
• Build long-term relationships with new and existing customers, potential partners and industry representatives.
• Conduct research to identify target markets, customer needs and industry trends.
• Draft, manage and present proposals for contract opportunities.
• Implement marketing/sales activities, arrange business meetings with prospective clients and partners and negotiate opportunities.
• Screen potential business deals by analyzing market strategies, deal requirements, business potential, and financial cost-benefit, and make recommendations for investment of resources.
• Close new business deals by coordinating requirements, developing and negotiating contracts, and integrating contract requirements with staffing and business operations.
• Protect organization’s value by keeping information confidential and representing our brand faithfully.
• Continuously update job knowledge and knowledge of our services by participating in educational opportunities, reading professional publications, maintaining personal networks, participating
in professional organizations, etc.
• Enhance our reputation by accepting ownership for accomplishing new and different requests and exploring opportunities to add value to job accomplishments.
Required Skills/Qualifications:
• Proven sales planning, prospecting, marketing and closing skills
• Demonstrated ability to meet sales goals and produce sustained revenue growth
• Exceptional presentation skills and ability to sell to the customer’s needs
• Demeanor that is energetic, professional, & pleasant combined with exceptional communications skills
• Bachelor’s in business administration, marketing, an industry relevant field or equivalent experience
• HR, OD, ADR, EEO, ER, and/or training knowledge strongly preferred
• Previous government contract and proposal writing experience strongly preferred
To apply, send a statement demonstrating why you’re a good fit for this position, a current resume, a writing sample (5 pages max), and three references. Email applications to workbetter@adrvantage.com with the header “Business Development Manager” by July 17, 2017. Incomplete applications will not be considered. No phone calls please.
23 June, 2017
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about Carol Dweck’s Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, and what it teaches about the role of mindset in our embrace of the new, sometimes hard, and always unknown of transition. Those are the very conditions that often trigger a fixed-mindset in which it’s easy to feel challenged, threatened or confronted with something we don’t know how to do or don’t want to do.
I have distinct memories of making decisions that were outside my comfort zone that have paid off time and time again over my life, like the time I decided to leave a job and move cross country, sight unseen with no job and no existing network. – So, I have a “growth mindset” right? But not so fast – I have many more memories of having to make a change for which I felt unprepared. “Isn’t there a way I can avoid it? If not, how will I be able to explain it when I fail? Maybe this is good time to go out for ice cream.”
What I appreciate about Dr. Dweck’s research is that it makes clear that while some of us may have been born with more of a growth mindset than a fixed one, or vice versa, most of us draw on both and both serve a function. The key is to recognize, especially when the fixed mindset is limiting our progress, and to learn to remain in a growth mindset when most challenged or faced with set-backs. Instead of giving up we learn from it and make intentional decisions.
I was reminded of this just today when I learned that I lost a competitive assignment. I could indulge this discomfort of rejection or focus on the future, learn what it means, and take action. What does that work really mean to me? What will it take to develop, apply myself and become a more successful competitor? Maybe I’ll decide I should apply myself in that direction or maybe to different kinds of assignments. Both outcomes are products of a growth mindset, as long as I’m open to the lessons it teaches.
Different circumstances trigger a fixed-mindset for different people. As practitioners, we can help our clients come to recognize their triggers. We can use Dr. Dweck’s 4-step journey as a way to support our clients exploring what happens when they are triggered and how to learn to remain in a growth mind-set. It’s like core-strengthening for success. With awareness, recognition, and exercise, we have greater tools for embracing and thriving during stressful situations such as transitions.
June is a great month to consider what tools, techniques and insights we can offer clients to support their growth while in transition. Read or reread Dr. Dweck’s book, learn about and remind ourselves how our mindset affects our success in transition.
Dianne Lipsey
President
06 June, 2017
Change isn’t necessarily hard. That might sound counter to common knowledge because we’ve all experienced change that feels grueling. Even changes that are well-conceived strategic initiatives are met with opposition and resistance, resulting in protracted implementation phases. The pain point in change is usually not in accepting the new, but in letting go of the old. No matter the change, whether adapting to a new process, taking on a new responsibility, or roughing it through yet another reorganization, we all have routines and identities that are disrupted by the change. Even positive changes, like accepting a promotion, require us to let go of habits and customs that we have developed as part of our role. It might be easy to learn a new process or skill, but it’s much harder to shift from feeling like an expert to feeling like a novice, or shift from feeling eager to contribute to the team to being relied on as the team leader. Moving through change means bringing proper closure to our old identities and roles. A simple process can help you shift through a challenging change.
1. Review what you are holding onto. Pay attention to what you like about how things were before. What was working well already, before the change?
2. Retain and document the practices or values to carry over as you shift into a new role or process. What part of your identity do you want to retain as you enter a new way of being?
3. Release what you want to permanently let go of. Not all behaviors or attitudes will serve you as effectively after the change than before it.
4. Ritualize the transition. Ceremony is an important feature of smooth transitions. How will you mark your departure from where you were to where you are going?
